网际旅游

周末总是让人心情很好, 换句说法, 日子要是过到不用工作养家糊口的份上, 人人都喜欢. 可惜一周七天, 只有两天的周末. 想起一段相声, “不满意, 要是干两天, 休五天, 俺就满意了”, 呵呵, 照例来几段关于旅行的笑话, 并祝朋友们中秋节快乐, 无论是自己准备一桌好菜, 还是出去吃吃盘子; 无论是一个人对影成双, 或花好月圆, 或子孙满堂, 都要开开心心, 珍惜人生旅途的每一天, 每一种经历.

关于飞行员的笑话

ATC: Alitalia 345 continue taxi holding position 26 South via Tango check for workers along taxiway
AZA: Ali345 Taxi 26 Left a via Tango. Workers checked - all are working
—

ARN851: “Halifax Terminal, Nova 851 with you out of 13,000 for 10,000, requesting runway 15.”
Halifax Terminal (female): “Nova 851 Halifax, the last time I gave a pilot what he wanted I was on penicillin for three weeks. Expect runway 06.”
—

Lost student pilot: “Unknown airport with Cessna 150 circling overhead, identify yourself.”
—

Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not?
Pilot: Yes.
Tower: Yes what??
Pilot: Yes, SIR
—

O’Hare Approach: USA212, cleared ILS runway 32L approach, maintain speed 250 knots.
USA212: Roger approach, how long do you need me to maintain that speed?
O’Hare Approach: All the way to the gate if you can.
USA212: Ah, OK, but you better warn ground control.
—

ATC: Pan Am 1, descend to 3,000 ft on QNH 1019.
Pan AM 1: Could you give that to me in inches?
ATC: Pan Am 1, descend to 36,000 inches on QNH 1019
—

Cessna 152: “Flight Level Three Thousand, Seven Hundred”
Controller: “Roger, contact Houston Space Center”
—

727 pilot: “Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a 360 in this airplane?”
Controller: “Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth.”
—

Student Pilot: “I’m lostï¼› I’m over a big lake and heading toward the big E.”
Controller: “Make several 90 degree turns so I can identify you on radar.”
(short pause)…
Controller: “Okay then. That big lake is the Atlantic Ocean. Suggest you
turn to the big W immediately .”
—

Pilot: “Approach, Federated 303’s with at 8000′ for vectors ILS, full stop.
Approach: “Unable Federated 303. The ILS is out of service.”
Pilot: “We’ll take the VOR then.”
Approach: “Sir, the VOR’s in alarm right now. Standby.”
Pilot: “OK, guess it’ll have to be the ADF then.”
Approach: “303, unable the ADF right now for traffic saturation.”
Pilot: “OK, approach. State my intentions.”
—

ATC: “N123YZ, say altitude.”
N123YZ: “ALTITUDE!”
ATC: “N123YZ, say airspeed.”
N123YZ: “AIRSPEED!”
ATC: “N123YZ, say cancel IFR.”
N123YZ (Pause) “……….Eight thousand feet, one hundred fifty knots indicated.”
—

BB: “Barnburner 123, Request 8300 feet.”
Bay Approach: “Barnburner 123, say reason for requested altitude.”
BB: “Because the last 2 times I’ve been at 8500, I’ve nearly been run over
by some bozo at 8500 feet going the wrong way!”
Bay: “That’s a good reason. 8300 approved.
—

Controller: “FAR1234 confirm your type of aircraft. Are you an Airbus 330 or 340?”
Pilot: “A340 of course!”
Controller: “Then would you mind switching on the two other engines and give me a 1000 feet per minute, please?”
—

Tower (in Stuttgart): “Lufthansa 5680, reduce to 170 knots.”
Pilot: “This is here like Frankfurt. There is also only 210 and 170
knots…But we are flexible.”
Tower: “We too. Reduce to 173 knots.”
—

Pilot: “Good morning, Frankfurt ground, KLM 242 request start up and push back, please.”
Tower: “KLM 242 expect start up in two hours.”
Pilot: “Please confirm: two hours delay?”
Tower: “Affirmative.”
Pilot: “In that case, cancel the good morning!